Saturday, November 15, 2014

One Sheep, Two Sheep, Cow, Turtle...

I need to post something. Anything.

What to say, what to say...

So my new iPhone has a ton of emojis. I call them emoticons, but my students tell me that this term is so last year, and that they are now called emojis. I looked it up, and it turns out that emoticons are a representation of facial expressions using characters from your keyboard, such as this: ;-). Whereas emojis are a small digital image or icon used to express an idea or emotion--in other words, a tiny graphic. So the two aren't actually synonyms after all. Maybe I'm the only person in the world who didn't know this? Anyway, I have a ton of these on my phone, and it turns out that me and emojis are NOT a good mix. Like, I have this compulsion to use them ALL. From the simple happy face to the Easter Island Head (because, you know, the Easter Island Head has a ton of practical uses within a texting conversation). It's just that there are so many, and they are right there, one keystroke away, begging for me to use them. 

Take these threads, for example (gray boxes = my sis; green/blue boxes = me):

This last one doesn't have anything to do with emojis. I just wanted to point out that my twin sister with a doctorate makes up words like "Humpton."

I haven't slept in the last two days. Well, I've slept, just not a lot. The first night was simply because a demon possessed Beans--our pomeranian--and he decided to sit in the middle of the living room at 2 a.m and bark at nothing for an hour straight. It was odd because the dog almost never barks. He doesn't know how to jump, either, which makes him this broken, ground-dwelling beast, rather than the lap dog he's supposed to be.  Anyway, by the time Beans settled down, I was wired, and it took me until 5:00 a.m. before I could go back to sleep.

Last night was quiet, but I just couldn't find the off-switch on my brain, which is always a fun ride.

I actually jumped out of bed around 3 in the morning (sometime after the Macarena) and scratched down a short scene with Grayden and Audrina:

     "You don't get it. I want to hurt you. I want to drag you down my road of twisted perversity and I want you to hate it. And relish it."
     Cold sweat trickled down her neck. She already knew this. But hearing him say it aloud forced her to imagine flesh on those phantoms--to see them as real.
     "Is that what you want? You want me in pain?"
     "Yes," he said, and then paused. "But then I feel these waves rippling from you, and they're awful. They seep into my skin. And I want to change my answer to 'no'"
     "Grayden." In two steps she had his face cupped in her hands. She saw the conflict in his eyes, like clouds crashing over an uncertain sea. "I'm sorry."
     She tucked her head against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, too tight at first, but loosening at her gasp. She could feel his heart--his perfectly normal heart--beat against her cheek, and she relinquished herself to the realization that it was here, listening to his body's rhythm, that she felt safe.
     But something logical pulsed inside her brain. This is a faux safety, it said. This is controlled chaos. This was the way a smooth sea shone like glass right before being broken by brutal winds and rain.
     A storm is lurking, this logical thing said.
     She told it to shut up. 

So that's just GREAT. Another scene for a story that doesn't exist. 


  1. Make it exist, Jo. It's too good of an idea and scene NOT to. Should I beg? Would that make you keep writing it? Please please????

    (Does the additional punctuation help? Lol)

    I have insomnia nightly, I'm beginning to hate the night. But I love that your sis said Humpton... my hubs calls it that too! Lol

    I almost read this at 3am when I got your text... But I decided to go back to my nightmares instead. :X (I still like emoticons...)

    <3 mel.

    1. The begging and extra punctuation DOES help a little, Mel. ;) But seriously, I don't think I have a choice. This story is going to exist out of sheer stubbornness. Now if I could come up with a damn plot for the thing, I'd be set...

      I had a feeling you were up when I texted! Maybe your superhero power is rubbing off on me. :-D

      Chris likes squeezy cheese and calls it the Humpton? *sighs dreamily*

      Sorry about your nightmares. :-(

    2. Hey. We can't crush on each other's husbands, can we? Lol! You can have the spray cheese... I'd take the showers any day! ;)

    3. I'll give up showers, but only if you throw binding in there with that spray cheese! ;)

    4. Omg, I'm totally perverting you. Lol

  2. OMG!!!!!! Jodi!!!!!!! This scene is so good. I'm not kidding. I'm dying of jealousy over here. I want to cry and scrap everything I've ever written and start over. *insert all the crying emojis in the world*

    By the way, I love emojis, too. ^_^

    I have chronic insomnia. I'm seeing I'm missing out when I stay in bed and whine instead of getting up to write when this happens.

    Okay! I'll be okay. I'm on a first draft right now. Some of it is really good. Some of it sucks. That's just the way the world works. >.<

    1. I'm DYING, Krystal! I was doing okay until I got to *insert all the crying emojis in the world*, and then I lost it and now I am laughing so hard I think my sides are going to split.

      Okay, *gulps, gets control*

      Thank you for loving my excerpt so much! But don't you dare get all weepy and want to throw your stuff out, because you are such a wonderful writer, and of course everyone else's words always seem better than our own. You've posted excerpts that have made ME feel like a toddler trying to write a book, SO THERE.

      Isn't it so lovely how us writers inspire each other? ;-D

  3. It was fun reading our texts! 💩
    I absolutely LOVE this excerpt. You've got another story that's being born...🍗

    1. How on EARTH did you manage to incorporate a smiley turd and a chicken leg into your comment?? (And yes, I know they're there...even though they don't show here, they came through on my e-mail).

    2. LOL!!! For a second, I was like, "How did you know?!"

  4. The scene is fantastic -- FANTASTIC, I say. The voice feels very real, and immediate.

    And "Humpton." This made me genuinely LOL. Classic!

    1. Thank you Cheyenne!

      And yeah, I'm ashamed to admit I was thoroughly amused by "Humpton." I think I've been teaching junior high for far too long. ;)

  5. You and Shannon are HILARIOUS. I really miss you guys when I see things like this. Also, I laughed my ass off at you calling your dog a "broken, ground-dwelling beast." Mine can jump, but they also bark their heads off all night at nothing. See this link (which will probably get me relegated to spam):

    I'm glad, though, that you made something productive out of your insomnia. That passage up there is pure awesome. :D

    1. That link is SO PERFECT Kristyn. If I had seen it sooner, I would have included it with this post!

      How do you sleep through your dogs barking? Beans almost never barks, but when he does, holy cow it's LOUD.

      Thank you for your kind words on my little excerpt! And Shan and I miss you too!

    2. Both of my dogs sleep in the bed because, well, they're spoiled. Thankfully, they don't bark all night EVERY night, but when they hear something they're on it. If Matt's home and awake, and I'm trying to sleep, Anakin will bark at him almost non-stop. Over time, I've just learned to tune it out. But, if I'm being honest, I often don't sleep as well as I could.

      Also, what're you doing in January? I'm going to CA to visit, probably near the end of January. We should get together and have food. I missed seeing y'all last time.

    3. Ha! If I let Beans sleep in bed with me, he'd chew my face off.

      Yes, let's get together! And HAVE FOOD. ;) Let me know when you've got a date and I'll make it happen.


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