Sunday, September 1, 2013

A Memorable Night--with Cookies, Even

Okay, let me just get this entry over with so I can get back to talking about superficial things like the rooster living in my daughter's bathroom or the bunny who thinks our fireplace is his rabbit hole.

Here is the link to the newspaper article I appeared in:  The Hesperia Star.  The photo they captioned me in is terrible.  But to be fair, I'm not graceful with surprises at all.  I pretty much fell apart.

Let me explain real fast.  I knew I had won Teacher of the Year at my own school site.  That news came out right before we went on summer break.  So last week, me and 47 other teachers and staff members who had won Employee of the Year at their own school sites attended a ceremony to receive our silver apple awards.  They also baked us fresh chocolate chip cookies in some portable oven-thingy.  Kay, I guess that detail is irrelevant, but I still remember smelling the cookies when I walked up to get my award.  ANYWAY--I had received my award and was standing up there with the other 47 employees, when they announced that they were now going to name the district-wide Teacher of the Year.  This means that, of all the winners, they had chosen one teacher for elementary school and one for secondary (middle- and high-) school to receive the district-winner plaque.  At this point I had practically tuned the ceremony out.  We had been standing on display beneath a bright light for awhile, and I was eager for them to announce the final "winners" so I could get off the stage and reunite with my family.  They called up the elementary teacher first, and she had to walk past me to get up to the front.  She was so surprised, and I remember putting my arm on her and telling her how amazing it was.  Then suddenly, I hear them say my school's name.  My skin went really hot, and I thought I must have heard that wrong.  Then I hear my name.  Apparently my picture went up on an overhead screen; I never saw that.  But the people directly around me started going crazy; someone said "That's you Jodi!" and propelled me forward.  After that, it was all a blurry whirlwind of congratulations and tears (those were mine) and camera flashes and an interview with our local newspaper in which I said words that I can't remember saying.

Me before I fell apart--I had to get ready for the ceremony in my classroom since it began at 4:30.

My family (minus Clint, who was in Kansas). Shan was hilarious--remind me to tell you about her "contributions" to my interview later.

The Fam. =)

Me with my vice-principal (left) and two friends/silver apple recipients.

Me and the Superintendent (yikes--super blurry)

There're are a ton more pics out there somewhere.  I have pics with my principal, colleagues, and so on.  But they're all divided amongst a bunch of different cell phones--none of which are mine--so this is all I've got for now.

Why don't I deserve this award?  Well, consider the following excerpts I pulled from past blog entries:
  1. My pet rats escaped again last night....
  2. I had to perform a staple-ectomy on one of my students yesterday.  He stapled his finger.  I mean, really stapled his finger, to the point where the staple was completely embedded into his flesh.  I just applied lots of pressure, counted to three, and pulled that sucker out.  If you yourself have any surgery requirements, I'd be glad to assist.
  3. Spelling Bee starts tomorrow, and I'm the Master of Ceremonies person again.  I'm excited because I love the break from the classroom, hanging out with the judges, and eating chocolate (there's always chocolate).
  4. I just about threw in the towel today as far as teaching was concerned.  The only standards my kids mastered were how to effectively cover their ears and squish stuff.
  5. Today I slammed a student's head with the door....
  6. I decided my homeroom will officially be a heart-making sweat shop tomorrow.  I am also sending paperclips to four other homerooms (although two of the teachers don't know this yet).  With five different factories working for twenty minutes, I'm hoping that this will be enough to get us through lunch tomorrow.  Is it wrong to make the kids bend paperclips through the Pledge of Allegiance?
  7. Several times, in an attempt to lunge for balloons, students actually dove head-first into the trash can.
  8. The rest of the week went by pretty smoothly, except for the fact that one student stole Axe Bodyspray from another student's backpack and then proceeded to spray it, which for reasons still unclear to me led to a bag of Cheetos exploding all over my room. 
  9. So not only is mild cursing good for student-learning, but it actually provides the teacher some much needed therapy throughout the day.
  10. This morning I decided to take Ms. Frisbee on a field trip to Mr. A's office so that he could see exactly the sweet little innocent creature who was thrown across my room and perhaps take the matter more seriously.  He isn't entirely comfortable with rodents, but I finally managed to talk him into holding her.  She then peed all over him. 
  11. One of my students today threatened to burn my car down.  I know, *gasp*, but it was actually part of a bad joke.  I asked said-student if I could choose which vehicle he decided to douse with kerosene, because my 2007 HHR was getting really dirty.  
  12. Next, we played "Telephone."  I started the game by whispering "Raining cats and dogs is my favorite idiom."  After the message passed through 36 sets of ears, it came out as "Pink gay bunnies."
  13. During the power outage, one student walked into class late.  I stated "You're tardy Elise, but I have no proof, so have a seat." 
  14. It makes me feel sad that I will never be these kids' teacher again.  We bond with each other throughout the year and they start to feel like family to me.  Even the little crap heads that drive me nuts start to feel like family.
Thought I'd end on a heart-warming note there for #14.

You can find the context for all of these items here:  Middle School Dribbles.

You think if the Teacher of the Year panel had followed my blog, they still would have voted for me?  (Maybe it's best not to explore that question).


  1. ZOMGGG Jodi!! You're in a newspaper! I just ran to my housemate with my laptop and couldn't keep my voice down.
    Aren't I so lucky to know a superstar like you??! *fans self importantly*

    I laughed at your teaching excerpts, especially #13!! You're amazing to handle teenagers!
    I wish I could be awesome like you, and handle people like that.

    But I'll console myself with knowing I know you, so I'm a rockstar by association ;)

    Super-Congrats Jodi!!

  2. Oh my gosh! You're making me all sniffly over here Ifeoma! You're the most encouraging, supportive person I've never met face-to-face. LOL. Thank you for all of these super-warm 'feels' you give me! *Big squeeze*

  3. Congrats. I bet your sense of humor is part of what makes you a great teacher. Keep up the good work. Teachers rule.

  4. Thanks Scott! You call it a sense of humor, I call it SURVIVAL.


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