Monday, June 4, 2012

Stress and Rednecks

So I started feeling REALLY stressed the other day. The kind of stress that causes your pulse to pound in your throat...and feels like someone injected a serum of icy cold water into your stomach. And it was for such a STUPID reason. I  simply started exploring (online) the requirements to defend my dissertation and graduate in October.

The problem is, I have been avoiding any thoughts of school for months now. My last class was finished last year, so it was really easy to mentally sweep the whole thing under the rug. The avoidance thing was working pretty well until my clinical supervisor approached me last week and happily informed me that I had completed the required  1,500 intern hours as of May. I should have been elated, but my first thought was...CRAP. I haven't touched my dissertation in months, and I'm...NOT READY.

So when I started looking into my graduation requirements, it was an abrasive reminder that I still HAVE to finish this damn degree. My last intern unit ends August 19th, and I have to immerse myself in this school stuff again. It's SO hard, because my brain is done, but the degree isn't. This little discrepancy is causing me a lot of grief.

Anyway, when I was hit with this wave of anxiety, I feel like I handled it okay. I utilized three coping strategies to help me get through it. 2/3 of them are a little...questionable.

1) I frantically gulped down a glass of white wine.

2) I reminded myself this is self chosen stress. I CHOSE to go for another freakin' degree. Some people are slammed with stress due to circumstances beyond their control, such as illness, loss of job, etc. My stress is related to self actualization purposes, and it seems retarded to allow myself to drown in the anxiety when some people have REAL problems.

3) I clicked on Google Images and typed "Rednecks" (not sure what compelled me to do this). Here are some of my favorites:

After looking at these pictures, how could I take anything seriously? :)

P.S My little three legged Dusty is doing really good. She still has a terrible limp, but she is a happy, playful little thing. She gets her sutures and the cone collar removed in five days. Jeremy told my parents two days ago that he is glad we spent all the $$$ to save her. This was music to my ears.