Friday, May 18, 2012

Deplorable Day

Today has been a terrible day.

First of all, I feel so bad for Jodi, and this whole blog situation. While it doesn't impact me much, I know she felt a sense of ownership over her URL, and she had some regular followers. That's probably the hardest part for her:  Imagining her regular readers clicking on the fizzyjo link just to find a loan company, and having no way to notify them of her new URL (I'm SO sorry Jo).

The day has just been so much worse than that though. I have a 10 week old puppy named Dusty. Her mother Izzie tore off a couple planks from our deck, leaving a gaping hole (we didn't know about it).  Dusty fell through the hole, and shattered her right leg. I called into work and took her to an animal hospital. It was dreadful. Dusty's temperature was 104 and her breathing was rapid because she was going into shock. When the X-rays came back, I was horrified. Her leg was a broken mess. I called Jeremy, and he was saying I would have to give them the go ahead to have her euthanized. I absolutely fell apart.

I told  Jodi  that I'm not sure why I fell apart like that. I have only had the puppy for 2 1/2 months.  Jodi told me she thinks it is because we have been raising her since she was born. She also thought it was because I was having to bear the burden of being the one to end her life. I think my sister knows me well.

I am not ending her life. After much tears and a very long, candid conversation with the vet and the vet's assistant, I decided to have her leg amputated. This is going to cost about $1,600, and I had to pay $900 today. Jeremy initially revolted against this idea because he thought it was cruel. I have spent hours online looking up three legged dogs and reading forums, and the outcome is pretty good. After the dog recovers from surgery, most of them adapt very well to three legs, and they can do everything a normal dog does. I am PRAYING Dusty recovers well.  I am pretty scared, actually.

My dad called me, and I told him. My dad can be a no nonsense kinda guy sometimes, so I thought he was going to tell me I was crazy. Instead, he told me a story about his German Shepherd when he was a kid. She had given birth underneath an old car, so she was sleeping under the car with her litter. She got bit by a rattlesnake, and she chewed her leg off, instinctively knowing that if she didn't, she would die from the venom. the dog recovered completely and resumed a normal, healthy life. Then my dad said, "Shannon.....I would have done the exact same thing." I needed to hear that.

Jeremy is coming around a little bit. He watched a lot of YouTube videos of three legged dogs running and catching frisbees...

Dusty is staying the weekend at the animal hospital. They have her catheterized, on fluids, and sedated. When we said goodbye to her, she finally looked comfortable, so that was a relief. They are going to amputate on Monday, and  I pick her up on Tuesday.

I should end this entry here, because it is already so awful, but on top of everything else, my laptop crashed, and it has my dissertation stuff on it. I emailed the most recent revisions of the actual dissertation to myself, so I'm okay there. But I had dozens of articles bookmarked on that computer that I had intended to use for Chapter 5, so I have to find them again. My laptop is also the only computer I have besides my iPad, so I currently have no way to work on my dissertation. I am actually typing this on my iPad, which is like texting, since there is no keyboard. Not exactly what I would call efficient.

I hope I'm not somehow cursing our new URL by writing such a wretched entry. Jodi did tell me to write about it though. I feel a little better now.