Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Rise and Shine Pills

I am sooooo tired!  I have been back in psychotic insomniac mode for the last few days.  On Sunday evening I took a real-life, actual sleeping pill for the first time.  I've taken the occasional herbal sleeping aids before, such as Melatonin, but never actual chemical-infused sleeping pills.  I figured since I was a sleeping pill virgin, it would have a huge effect on me...sort of like the impact liquor has on your body your first time drinking it.  I expected to be lying unconscious within a half hour of taking that pill.  Instead, two hours later, I was wired.  I took the pill at 9:00, and by 11:00 p.m., I was all over the place and feeling giddy and silly.  At about 11:30, I started texting Clint from bed, message after message, and I don't really remember what I was texting him about, but I pretty much wouldn't shut up.  I know at one point I told him that I had a great idea for a new invention:  a fluffy, cute stuffed bear that stores a 9 mm in a hidden slot, for females such as myself who are packing heat every night due to their hubbys' work schedules.  I told him I'd much rather cuddle with a teddy bear at night than cold, not-so-cuddly steel.  Plus on the occasions when I hear a noise and am forced to cruise the house, it looks much better from the kids' perspective if Mom is wielding a fluffy purple bear instead of a firearm.  And yes, I want a purple one (not sure why; purple isn't my favorite color).  I think after posting this blog, I'll check out e-bay and see what they have in the way of purple Rambo bears.  I wonder what my keyword search should be?

Oh yeah, but back to my original point.  So it turns out that sleeping pills are bad on me.  I did eventually crash toward midnight, but when I woke up the next morning for work, I felt a little drunk.  It took half of the day before I felt like myself again.  Maybe I should cut the pill in half next time.  Or try a Starbucks instead.

The rest of the week has been very normal so far, although I've been having these daily back and forth conversations with a troubling parent, and this has been a little stressful.  I won't get into the details, but she is one of those enabling parents whose darling little angel (same angel that threw Ms. Frisbee across my room) could never ever do any harm, and of course all of her son's shortcomings are somehow his teachers' fault.  I've lost so many valuable hours every week due to this mom, and it's starting to wear me down.  The vice principal offered to have her son removed from my class a few days ago, and it was the most tempting offer.  What a sigh of relief it would be to have both him and his mom forever out of my life!  But before I could stop myself, I told Mr. A that "I'm not a quitter."  So until I say the word, this kid stays in my class.  And since I will never say the word, that's that.  It's going to be a long rest of the year.  On the plus side, at least this whole thing is going to really test my patience--and hopefully strengthen it--as the school year progresses.

I'm not going to go back and re-read any of this cuz I am really tired, and hungry now, too, so sorry if this whole thing came out as gibberish.*

*Update: Okay, I lied.  Two hours after posting this, I added two commas and the word "although" into one of my sentences.  I can't help it--I'm an editing-addict!


  1. Isn't a babe cuddling a purple teddy bear going to attract a boogieman?

  2. Would it help if I switched to a yellow teddy bear? :)

  3. Probably not. You either need a boogieman repellant, or "Attack Cat Inside" signs to put in your windows.

    Of course I can see the commerical now:

    "Hi Becky"

    -"Hi Sue"

    "You got a Ram-Bear too?"

    -"Yea, we just picked it up yesterday."

    "How many rounds does your bear hold."

  4. Funny, I thought the little rod-thingy that goes "bang bang" WAS the boogieman repellant.

    Love your commercial! All it needs is a catchy little jingle, and I'll make millions.

    "Feeling freaked and stuck in bed?
    Rambo Bear will shoot 'em dead!
    Yayyyy Ram-Bear!"

    Yeah...I better keep working at it.

  5. Be careful. Once you start writing those late night ideas down to paper it won't be long before you have piles of notebooks strewn around the house and get very protective of 'your good pens'

    How interesting you got a cat and now a lizard. Pumpkin is currently watching over and over the movie "How to Train Your Dragon" and now she wants a dragon for a pet. The one she wants acts and looks as the cross of a lizard and a cat would.

    Boogieman repellant: large, multi-toothed aggressive dog. Great at repelling boogieman and exterminators.

  6. We own that movie too. It is so cute! I can hardly blame the girl for wanting a pet dragon after watching that movie, although good luck pulling that one off.

    Boogiemen and exterminators...interesting how you put those both into the same category.

  7. "He may look cuddly, he may look sweet,
    but this bear is packing some serious heat,
    Hearing someone at your door?
    Ram-Bear shoots their guts onto the floor...
    Yay, Ram-Bear!"
    There's the 2nd verse for your jingle.
    By the way, this post and the subsequent comments just about had me pising my pants.

  8. I can't count anymore how many times I have to reschedule someone's service because they have unfriendly dog loose in there yard.

    Interesting yes. When I took women's studies the teacher, before the class started had me run out to the parking lot. It was nighttime, and 10 minutes later she brought the class to the end of the buildings where the parking lot started. I could hear her asking the class how they felt about what they could see. As I got closer and closer the teacher had the class write down all the keywords about how they felt with a guy hovering around their cars in the dark. Then she called out for me to walk back and we all went inside for all those written words to be put on the board. This was the beginning of our "most violence against women is committed by men; most men are not violent" lesson that night.

  9. What a great lesson! "Hey you, tall guy, go out into the parking lot and pretend to be a predator." Were there other males in the class, or just you?

    Love that second verse, Sho! Pair it up with some Care-Bear music and we have the next hot ticket Christmas gift! Who needs Tickle Me Elmo when you've got Shoot 'em Dead Ram-Bear?

  10. There were two other males in the class, but I'm pretty sure they liked dudes. I expected it to be full of angry feminist or man hating dykes but It was just mostly women and gay guys filling there humanities credits up.

    For me it was either women's studies or theater appreciation.


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