Saturday, June 12, 2010

I Offended a Woodchuck

TMI Alert: If stories concerning bladder maladies offend you, then I'd advise you to read no further. That being said...

We were on our way back to our cabin from the Winchester Mystery House, and I had the most terrible urge to pee. I mean, it was really REALLY bad. I asked Clint how much longer until we reach the next rest stop, and he estimated that we had about ten minutes more. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn't be able to make it another ten minutes (darn kids tore up my bladder), so for the sake of maintaining the sanctity of our somewhat grungy but otherwise tinkle-free seats, I told him he needed to pull over NOW.

Clint quickly brought the car to a stop on the side of the highway, and I jumped out of the car and headed quickly down the hill into some wild brush, looking for some privacy. In my panic, I ran right through a huge patch of stinging nettles; a price I would pay for many hours to come. At this point, I could no longer hold it, so I double-checked to make sure the highway traffic couldn't see me, and there I went, on a big pile of sticks that led directly into an even bigger mountain of sticks. But right as I was going, a brown furry critter suddenly startled me, and scurried into a large habitat...the habitat that I was currently--eh-hem--doing my business on. He looked at me from inside his hole in this accusational way, and I told him "I'm so sorry! But I can't stop now!"

I didn't know what the creature was until I did some research later on that day. I really do feel terrible and am sorry I offended the poor critter and defiled his habitat.

So I guess this begs the question of "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Unfortunately I was too busy peeing on his front porch to find out.