Sunday, February 14, 2010

So Now I'm a Hyena

Yesterday I took a quick nap and had a dream that Clint and I had entered into a karate/kickboxing-type tournament somewhere far away. Before the competition began, there was this ancient guru woman who was supposed to read all of the competitors' "animal spirits" (like in Clan of the Cavebears). She began with the first competitor; a big, strong opponent. She declared to the audience that his animal spirit was a tiger. This was good news for him, because tigers were fierce competitors. But she warned him that he would have to be careful, because tigers could be impulsive and make quick, foolhardy decisions. Next, she read Clinton, and announced he was a horse. This was also good news, because even though horses were somewhat slower, they were very disciplined, steady, and obedient.

Next was my turn. She read me, but then I had to go to the bathroom, so I dashed off before she could tell me what animal spirit I was (stupid wimpy bladder). As I ran off though, I heard the crowd groan, and I heard the woman lamenting about what a shame this spirit was. Once in the restroom, all the stalls were occupied, save for one, which had a big rustic copper toilet with a sign that said "out of order." I remember feeling panicky because I was running late for the tournament, plus I knew that the old woman was probably upset that I had run out in the middle of her reading.

I finally gave up on the restroom, but ultimately refused to go back to the competition because of my embarrassment over being late. Instead, I returned to a restaurant-like booth where two men were sitting, watching the tournament from a small television set. I asked them what animal spirit had been assigned to the third competitor. They told me that the third competitor had run off in shame, because that person had discovered that they were a hyena. According to the men, this was the most disgraceful of all the spirits. I wasn't too thrilled about it, because I kept picturing those mangy, slobbery hyenas in The Lion King.

Okay, so I obviously have some unresolved security issues with kickboxing, but seriously...what the hell? Animal spirits? Where did that come from? What am I, a Shaman? And rustic copper toilets?

For the record, I did look up hyena animal spirits, and they're not all that bad. Here is the description:

People with a Hyena totem have the ability to discern, to be clearer on what to do, whom to trust, what to believe, etc. They trust “what smells right” and what doesn’t. Communication is very important to Hyena people but they need to be careful with their words. (
See? I don't know what that dream audience was groaning about. What a bunch of drama-queens.

By the way, when I woke up from my nap, I still had to go to the bathroom.